Scar: Gone Guru
by Lee-All-The-Way
Summary: The second of my Scar related oneshots. Scar's gone Guru. And theres nothing you can do about it. Inspired by the song Gone Guru by Lifeseeker, from Dead Rising. There are some exploding animals, again...


**Hey, this is Lee-All-The-Way coming your way with number two in a group of Scar oneshots. Thank you for everyone who reviewed to my first oneshot, Scar: Death by the Right. I love you all (chewing.gum.alchemist; Fullmetal59; Lt. Ian; Spoonman; and Dark Kyubi.) You guys are the best!**

**This oneshot made no sense to me at all ever. So sorry if it sucks. **

**So this is my second oneshot in which Scar is tortured by yours truly! You wanna know how? R&R and you will find out!**

**So, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... pity me.

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**Scar: Gone Guru**

**_Inspired by the song "Gone Guru" by Lifeseeker, Dead Rising._**

**_My definition of Guru: Crazy... And that explains this story..._**

**_How do you say Guru? Easy its just Goo-Roo. Simple...

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I was walking all alone on the side of the road one night. I have no idea how I got there. I just remember staring at my arm for the longest time as I walked. I had two words repeating through my head constantly; simultaneous combustion, simultaneous combustion. I had no idea why.

Not like that didn't sound like a good idea; it's just that I wasn't really in the mood at the moment, that is, to kill anyone myself.

But what if **I** didn't kill anyone. What if I had someone doing it for me? Hmm. I pondered that thought, but then it left me and I returned to simultaneous combustion.

I stopped at a traffic light and waited for the walk guy to show up in green. It was red for a few minutes. That got me thinking about the color red. Blood was red, and how did someone get bloody? They got hit by cars! And how did they get hit by cars? They stepped out in the middle of traffic!

And that's just what I did. Some guy honked his horn at me to get out of the way. I smiled and waved at him as I sailed on, up and over his hood.

WHAM!

The word that ran through my head as I did that was Guru. Hmm... Interesting. It makes no sense, but it was cool. Maybe it describes me; crazy.

I lay on the ground for a while thinking 'I really like this Guru feeling. I should do it more often'. Then I realized that I wasn't dead. I wasn't even bleeding!

Yay! Now I could do it more often!

I waved at more cars as I ran down the street, constantly getting run over. It made me feel so exhilarated!

I was getting tired of the same old thing; hitting the cars hood, sailing over it, and rolling off onto the ground. I decided that it was time for something different. I needed something that was a little more fun.

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I ran into a back ally where I knew that there were a couple of kitties at. I really liked kitties and they really like me! It was fun to play with them. 

I found one, but it seemed scared of me.

"Aw, kitty. You don't have to be scared of me. I'm the nice Mr. Scar."

It hissed at me and then jumped onto my face and latched on. I started screaming in pain as its claws gouged my eyes out. It was hanging onto the skin under my eyes and its claws were the things holding all of its weight to my face.

I ran out of the ally into the busy town square. A few people stared at me as I ran around, my eyes bleeding, with a cat holding onto my face with its claws. And it was hissing.

"This cats gone Guru. Get it off! GET IT OFF!"

Some little girl walked up to me and said "Thank you mister. You found my lost kitty. I probably would have never have found her if it weren't for you." She grabbed the kitty from my face, taking a bunch of skin with it, and skipped off.

I ran after the girl, and pulled out a shovel that I had stored in my back pocket for these occasions. I wound up my arm like the golfers do, and swung, sending her screaming all the way across the town. "FOUR!"

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After healing a bit from the whole face surgery the cat gave me, I decided that I would go talk to my friends the squirrels. 

I walked over to a tree and saw a squirrel gathering acorns. I grabbed a few and shoved them into my mouth. "I don't see why you think they taste so good." I said as I crunched them up and swallowed. The squirrel just started making angry squirrel noises at me and shaking its fist.

Then it stole the few remaining acorns that I had in my hand and ate them.

"Hey! Those were my acorns"

"Who's counting?" asked the squirrel. I did a double take. A talking squirrel?

"You can talk." The squirrel covered its mouth and tried to run away, but I grabbed it before it could.

"You're Guru, aren't you?" it asked, frightful.

I answered its question by biting off its head and swallowing. Hmm. Chicken.

Then I got the best idea.

I wanna go set all the animals free from the zoo.

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I ran through the gates and took out my shovel, breaking down all of the doors to the cages. I had no idea why a shovel could break thought them, but I didn't ask, because it was just cool that it could happen. 

"GURU!" I yelled to everyone and no one at the same time.

I like didgeridoos.

I opened up the lions cage and watched it eat a person who was standing too close.

"Orange Pajamas! They make me wanna throw up!" I yelled out.

I went over to the monkeys cages and opened them. They ran out and started screeching. All of the sudden one of them ran over to me and sunk its teeth into my neck.

VAMPIRE MONKEYS!

This monkey was driving me crazy and I placed my right hand on its head, blowing it to pieces.

"EXPLODING MONKEY GUTS!" I yelled into the night air. The only other sounds besides me were the screaming of people and animals. It was music to my ears.

All of the sudden I got the giant urge to eat lots and lots of animals.

I decided to apply myself to that urge, and followed my nose to the smelliest thing I could find; the loin.

I stared the lion down. It stared back. We both pounced but I opened up my mouth really really really big. And I swallowed the loin in one mouthful.

Then I ran after the remaining animals. I ate a couple kangaroos, a giraffe, an elephant, a penguin, a dingo, a few chickens, the remaining monkeys, and a few turtles, all of the ducks, an alligator and the King Snake from the reptile house.

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I was really full, as I sat in the middle of the empty zoo. My stomach protested at its fullness. I really shouldn't have swallowed that many live animals whole. 

All of the sudden I heard the faint sound of something talking. It was coming from my stomach. I could faintly make out what was being said.

"You've gone Guru"

All of the sudden, the loin and all of the animals ripped out of my abnormally large stomach. They turned around and stared at me, waiting for what they new I would say.

"Airplane glue." Those were my last words.

"Definitely Guru" stated the lion.

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**So guys. How was my second oneshot? Good? Bad? Let me know in a review!**

**Also, sorry for the cruelty to animlas. I love them to death.**

**I will be putting up my next Scar oneshot whenever I think of an idea. Kay? All of the oneshots I put up for Scar will be set up like this.**

**Scar: (Then I will put the main title here.)**

**So review now. PUSH THAT SEXY BLUEISH PURPLEISH BUTTON NOW!**

**And you can go Guru with me!**

**-------- Lee-All-The-Way --------**


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